Blog Posts

Non-Verbal Cues to Communicate the Hope for Sex to Your Partner

It’s no secret that our current digital world has hindered our face-to-face communication skills. This is especially true if you have something more risky to say.

However, the person you’re dating shouldn’t be a part of the talking-fear syndrome. Communication is KEY when it comes to successful relationships.

Having said that, I think we can agree that when it comes to sex, there are so many ways to initiate the activity — some good ways and some not so good. But there aren’t a whole lot of ways to “ask” if sex should be a possible activity that can be enjoyed at the moment.

So I’ve tried coming up with non-verbal hints to subtly toss at your partner when the talking-fear syndrome hits but you want sexy time.

Sleep on their side of the bed

It’s an automatic response when having to share your bed with your partner — which side of the bed belongs to who.

Whatever your criteria is — side with the window, side with the dip, the one closest to the door so in case of emergency you can run out — you pick the side that makes you feel comfortable, whichever helps you sleep at night.

So what better way to communicate the want for sex than to lay your body (exposed optional) where they lay theirs? Sometimes I’ll even try to cover both sides so that they (only one person, same person every time) HAVE to lay on me.

This move has successfully communicated my intentions approximately two out of ten times. The other eight times he thinks I’m just trying to be annoying. No worries, however, there’s more hints to give out.

Wag your feet in pleasure

Dogs wag their tails when they’re excited or enjoying something and cease to wag for everything else. It’s a game of hot and cold.

This can be effective for humans too, except instead of wagging your non-existent tail, you’ll wag your feet.

Try this one when things are calm. Movie nights. Cooking. Worrying about bills over the kitchen table. Give a little wag when they hold your hand, caress your cheek or even look at you with ‘those’ eyes.

I’ll admit, it might take a while to train your partner to understand the cues. But good things come to those who wait, so remember to be patient, supportive and rewarding of progress.

Taking the Bible off the nightstand

Before explaining this one I want to clarify a few things.

First, putting the Bible out of sight DOES NOT keep God from seeing what you’re doing. It’s kind of like putting your browser in Incognito Mode, the FBI agent in your screen can still see what you’re doing online.

Second, you don’t have to be religious to use this tactic. If you’re not religious, using this technique can add a little humor to the situation about to take place.

Lastly, the Bible can be switched out with any respected book such as the Torah, Quran, AP Stylebook (current year edition only), vegan recipe book, Green Eggs and Ham, etc.

So there’s really only one issue with this one and that’s if you don’t already have your choice of book on the nightstand. Pre-prep by placing said book on the night stand ahead of time.

The move is, right before turning the lights off, with excess obviousness, place the book in a drawer or under the bed and be sure to make eye contact with your partner.

If, and only if, your partner asks any questions, try to answer with something along the lines of, “don’t wanna make anyone watching uncomfortable.”

Wear Their Clothes

And the final piece of advice. This one is great as long as you make them take the clothes off of you.

In order for this one to work, however, you’ll have to wear something that’ll, for whatever reason, make them want to desperately undress you.

An example of the type of clothes is wearing their underwear all over you — on your head, as a shirt, as your own underwear, etc. Another example can be wearing their favorite t-shirt or dress, they might be afraid you’ll ruin it so they’ll try to take it off of you.

Final Words

There you have it. These are my non-verbal cues for letting your partner know you want to do the nasty without actually saying it.

These are supposed to be fun and cute and for those who are afraid of talking face-to-face. Don’t be afraid to add your own twist, get creative and experimental.

And last words — consent is a part of healthy and enjoyable sex.

Disclaimer: I am not a professional sexologist but more of an enthusiastic participant in the activity that is enjoyed by many around the world. My techniques are from my own experience and should not be substitutes for professional advice or medical attention.

Impractical Stress Relievers

There’s three things that are promised to you at birth — death, taxes and stress.

Stress follows us throughout our lives. As babies we stressed about food. As kids we stressed about school. As teens we stressed about hormones. And as adults we stress about literally everything that happens in our day-to-day lives.

There’s countless links that Google brought up when I searched how to handle stress. Like a normal person I only looked at the first five and then gave up.

A lot of them had the same tips: take a break, don’t drink coffee, declutter workspace—tips that’ll eventually help you tackle whatever task you’re working on. All of these tips are great, they’re practical for helping you get the job done.

But, like most helpful things in life, they’re boring. I can’t imagine writing a 100-page essay on the cultural impact the discovery of dinosaurs brought during the 1800s — actually that kind of sounds fun — and then during my stress I “take a break” to de-stress.

What do I do during that break? Google offered more links with tips: take a walk, stretch, small nap, etc. Honestly that’ll stress me out more.

When I’m trying to de-stress I’m trying to do something that’ll take my mind off of whatever is stressing me out. I have to do a smaller task that is more enjoyable.

So I came up with this list of activities to do to help you relieve you stress. I’m not saying this will help finish your task or remove your stress until you finish the task — all I’m saying is these tasks will remove your immediate stress.

Scenarios

This is what people do after they’ve had an argument or a fight, once they’re calm and the situation is over they re-live the moment and come up with better things that could’ve been said.

Sometimes I did this when I had to tell my parents something bad and as I waited for them to come home I’d imagine a best-case-scenario to help me calm down.

Young Tony at any grade-level: Mother, Father, I have bad news. This past test I have received a regrettable F marking.

Parents in my head: Oh honey, that’s alright. Your entire life isn’t determined by this one grade.

Parents in real life: Who gets an F in art? Now not even a community college will accept you.

The scenarios in my head didn’t help with actually facing my parents but at least I had a nice calm before the storm for that hour and a half I waited for my parents to come home.

So make scenarios in your head. Get imaginative, too. Sometimes I imagine I have telekinesis and I could’ve used that to lift a heavy box rather than waiting for my coworker to help.

Sex and Masturbating

Here’s a truly fun one. A quick Google search shows that chemicals in the brain are released during sex and can help relieve stress when they’re combined.

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If possible, take a break to do one of these (or both, whatever) so that the immediate stress goes away. Again, it won’t help you tackle the problem at hand, most likely, but at least you’ll come back with some dopamine in your system.

And a small bit of advice I once read, if your sex life consists of self-servicing, then make it the greatest thing ever. Sensuality doesn’t HAVE to be with a partner. Treat yourself, get comfortable, relax.

Pets and Plants

Truly, my absolute second favorite on this list. I have two guinea pigs and a turtle that I love so much. These guys bring so much stress in my life, it’s insane. (Yes, you read that correctly.)

Ophelia (Ophie)

I’ll be having a great morning but once it’s time to feed, these animals are barbaric. It’s stressful.

But let’s say I’m on page 47 on my dinosaur essay and I’m super stressed, I have a thought block and the first two things on this list aren’t helping, I then move on to my pets.

Goliath

No matter how they’re acting, they always cheer me up when I’m stressed. All of the things that normally annoy me about them becomes the cutest thing ever: oinking for food, biting my fingers, pooping on the bed. All of that is better than this gosh-darn essay.

Cleopatra (Cleo)

For those of you who don’t have pets, or your pets just stress you out, try plants. I water and caress my mint plant that sits on my windowsill every morning. Seeing him perk up is such a delight. And when I’m a little stress I’ll shake his leaves so the mint smell can fill the room.

Pets and plants were given to us by God to take care of but honestly they seem to be taking care of me.

6-Hour Nap

There’s very few things in my life I say I love, so I don’t say this lightly, but I LOVE taking naps. The longer the better. There is nothing better to do after a shift at work than to take a nap.

And it can’t just be a regular nap where you sleep on whatever your head lands on. These naps need to be a pre-sleep. That means I put my jammies on, close the curtains, set an alarm, put on my ear-muffs and ride the train to snoozeville.

Why six hours? Because the more hours you sleep the longer it takes you to remember why you were stressed when you wake up.

And when I do wake up it’s for one to two hours, the most. Then I get ready for my full on sleep, ‘cause you know, I need to be sure I’m fully rested for the next day.

Rearranging Rooms

Another fun one. I enjoy doing this one around midnight because it gives me a rush. I’ll sit down and draw up a blueprint. Make sure everything is measured. And then I get to work.

If you’re a normal person who took a six-hour nap during the day then you might need an activity to do since you can’t go back to sleep, this is what you do.

A tip from a Google link mentioned decluttering your workspace to relieve stress. This is a slightly different version of that.

It’ll relieve you from whatever stress you had by giving you the stress of rearranging your room. That might not sound ideal but at least you’ll know how to relieve this stress.

Go on Pinterest and get some ideas. Get super into it.

If you’re anything like me, then God help you. But head to the dollar store and pick up a few neat things to use as decorations. Unconventional things.

Posters are okay but get some socks with cool designs and pin them to the wall. Buy different colored candle sticks and arrange them in a design. Go crazy.

Water Rinse

Last one for the list. I chose not to call this one “Bath or Shower” because the idea of getting clean with soap is not here. This is about rinsing off the stress through a physical means.

Turn the water on. Maybe get some music going. Nakedness is optional. And just hop in.

The most relaxing thing is holding your head back under the shower head and going through your hair with your fingers.

This will truly relieve your immediate stress. And you can even incorporate one or two other things that are on this list with this one. I’ll leave it up to you to pick which ones.

But massage your scalp. Let the worries of the world fall down the drain.

To Finish

Again, none of these will help you with finishing whatever is giving you stress. Some of these might even make you go backwards in steps to completing the task at hand. But they’re all fun. You can enjoy them.

Take a few minutes of personal guilty pleasure time for yourself. Working hard is important and necessary in life to succeed but success can happen at any stage in your life. The same can be said for fun, you can have fun anytime in your life. So why not interweave fun with hard work?

DIY Projects Non-Scientists and Non-Witches

I’m currently in the shower and my extremely tolerating significant other is sitting on the toilet, pants on, typing out this blog entry because inspiration can come at any time.

But anyway, I think it’s safe to assume that at one point or another in our childhoods we wanted to be a crazy laboratory scientist. If you were on the fantastical side of fiction rather than science the equivalent would be potions. Concocting and laughing maniacally — as a mad scientist or an evil witch — as I mixed milk with flower petals or soap and some paint, gave me a rush of excitement.

The disappointment, however, was that I couldn’t really do anything with such a mixture. I tried using food so that I could eat it afterwards but as a 12 year old kid I didn’t have much knowledge on how ingredients went well together.

Fast forward a few years later and I discover what the cool moms called DIY; for you uncool moms that stands for do it yourself. These projects can give you a real rush.

There’s different kinds of DIY projects that I’ve seen — crafty stuff, cooking, skin care — and they all have different levels of difficulty but they’re all worth a shot.

DIY skin care projects became my way of still living out my laboratory scientist interest. Here are the ones I thought I’d share that are easy enough to try at home.

Quick disclosure, disclaimer, warning and anything else: I’m not a real mad scientist (nor a real witch) so if anything blows up or reacts oddly, I can’t be held accountable.

Face Scrub

A face scrub is a great way to exfoliate your skin from every day bad stuff that floats around in the air. It can help remove dead skin cells and certain ingredients offer added benefits. Mix the ingredients in a bowl, equal amounts, and gently rub on face and neck. Then rinse off. Ingredients:

  • Coconut oil – great skin moisturizer
  • Granulated sugar – brings the ‘scrub’ in face scrub
  • Lemon – helps skin glow
  • Honey – inti-inflammatory-ness can help with redness and acne
  • Mint essential oil – helps to feel fresh

Teeth Whitening

Here’s an easy way to help remove some coffee or soda stains from teeth. Mix a small amount of baking soda and freshly squeezed lemon juice together. Using a cotton swab, apply the concoction to surface of teeth and let sit for a couple minutes.

Don’t close your mouth with the stuff on your teeth. And be sure not to leave it on for too long because the acid from the lemon can begin to remove tooth enamel. Rinse thoroughly and then brush.

Once or twice a week of this should do the trick.

Lip Balm

This one is my absolute favorite DIY because it’s easy, fun and you can get creative.

Ingredients:

Beeswax – can be ordered online or purchased at craft stores.

coconut oil or Shea butter

Essential oils – optional for added benefits

Beeswax bar I ordered from Amazon.com

Melt the beeswax and coconut oil or Shea butter together. Stir occasionally.

Add essential oils for flavor and teeny tiny chunks of lipstick for color.

Pour the melted lip balm in any small container — Altoids tin, empty lip balm tubes, a locket, a bottle cap that can be kept in a plastic baggie — anything that can hold melted wax enough for it to cool down and then carry it around.

Advisory: with more ingredients you add the texture can change so experiment and see what works best. Rule of thumb: if the lip balm is firmer than you want, add more coconut oil or she’s butter; if it’s to oily or soft, add beeswax.

To end

Have fun with these. Try them with friends. Or if your shy, do them alone. Maybe you’re a mom becoming cool, try it with your kids. Give them a shot.

Summer Bucket List with A Realistic Expectation

I’ve spent the last ten minutes trying to best articulate the analogy of summer coming and going like sunsets, but then I realized it was keeping me from writing.

Procrastination is a sneaky son-of-bitch.

But anyway, without fail, every May I make plans for summer — go on adventures, tan, fall in love with the perfect reading position — and every September sneaks up on me like procrastination does and I haven’t done a single thing on my summer bucket-list.

Well this year I’m certain things won’t change and next fall I’ll be just as disappointed.

Being a part-time employee in the entertainment industry — I don’t mean working in films but instead working at a theme park — means my job schedules me all summer so that other people can enjoy their summer break at the park.

I know it may seem like I’m complaining but that’s because I am. However, that doesn’t mean I’m not grateful for the opportunities I’m offered to make money. (This sentence is for my current and future employers.)

This year, however, things will not change, so I am continuing the tradition of making a bucket list that will not see the light of day. It’s not to be pessimistic but instead not getting my hopes up so that I am not disappointed in myself.

Here goes:

Stargazing

Earlier this month I was driving down the highway when I saw a white streak (n) streak (v) across the night sky. My first thought was it was a shooting star, which was weird because up to that point in my life I had never seen a shooting star. My second thought was that it was a UFO — alien related — because I had recently seen a documentary on alien UFO’s and perhaps I finally witnessed one.

My final assumption was that it was a UFO — a flying object I couldn’t identify — since multiple possibilities arose.

I did some researching — googled and clicked on the first link — and learned that shooting stars are common to see. Which I thought was weird since, like I said, I’ve never seen one before that night.

I figured stargazing would be interesting to do. I work in Griffith Park so spending the night there seems like a possible place. Or at the beach. Or maybe even in the mountains. Who knows, I might even see a UFO — alien.

Tea Party

I know this one may sound weird, specially coming from a 22 year old guy, but if it’s any consolation I am VERY young at heart and gay. Actually reading that out loud sounds kind of worse.

The tea party I’m thinking about has a more mature theme to it. Instead of nonsense songs and a crazy tailor I want a more relaxed ambience. A couple friends at a Starbucks with some pastries from a grocery store sounds more accurate to what I’m thinking.

Maybe I could even make it a book club kind of gathering. It’ll be a hipster version of Marie Antoinette’s lifestyle.

Drama, Drama, Drama

What’s summer without a little sunburn? By summer I mean our youth. And by sunburn I mean the sweet knowledge of gossip manifesting itself from tension to a confrontational bitch-slap. Because life is like surfing — if the tide is ripping and rolling you, then you’re having fun.

Is surfing like that? Not that it really matters but it isn’t on my bucket list so I might never try it.

But maybe just some excitement. Life changing arguments. Friends at each other’s throats. I want my best friend to use my secrets against me in front of others outside of a bowling alley right before our legendary showdown. And then maybe we’ll make up and be even closer than before.

Or maybe my pet turtle will finally tell me I’m bad at singing.

To Conclude

Summer is on it’s way like one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse ready to slay another chance at fun. I’ll be waiting, wine glass in hand, for our brunch date. And when September sneaks up behind me and delivers its confrontational bitch-slap, I’ll tell it all about the gossip I overheard from other people’s summer.

3 Things To Do to Make Me an Adult

All my life I’ve been the same kind of person — a prisoner of routine. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t like to give much thought to the mundane chores of every day life but it’s definitely become a problem.

Lately I’ve been in a depressive mood and I think it’s because I let my life become very passive. The simplest things used to excite me. Now, I can’t enjoy just anything like when I was younger.

Is this what growing up feels like? I think so.

I have decided it’s time to actively change up my life. Here are the changes I plan to introduce into my life to help kickstart my adulthood-ness:

First, Start Drinking Coffee

Coffee has two things going against me: it’s a laxative for me and it doesn’t give me that energy that people says it offers. But every one— friends, family, coworkers, college students in real life and in movies — swear by the elixir.

I’ve come to the realization that in order to be a better contributor to society I will need to start drinking coffee as if my adult life depended on it. Lucky for me I have access to a Keurig machine so it won’t be such an imposition to make a cup every morning.

Second, Getting Up at 6:30 In the Morning

I put ‘Getting Up’ instead of ‘Waking Up’ because I already wake up at six in the morning but I lay there for 45 minutes stretching and going through my phone. It doesn’t get me ready for the day but it helps me wake up. I think it’d be best to actually get up and do something productive.

Alternative things that can help me get ready for the day are listed:

  • feeding my pets (guinea pigs and turtle)
  • extreme stretches, yoga
  • breakfast, coffee!
  • Bible study, tarot card reading for the day

Third, Balancing a Checkbook

It’s been said time after time again: high school teaches us the Pythagorean theorem but doesn’t teach us something actually useful in every day life, such as balancing a checkbook.

I’m going to be upfront about it, I don’t actually know what that means —  thanks, high school diploma — but I’m sure it has to do with keeping finances in order.

Money has been tight so I’ve decided to do a version of that: I’ll be taking note of every dollar I spend that isn’t spent on my bills. This will hopefully show me where I need to start allocating my money. And by that I mean where I have to stop spending money.

In Conclusion

Another applause for my high school diploma for teaching me to end my writing assignments with ‘In conclusion,’ because that’s the way professionals do it.

But hopefully adding these three things to my life will help improve my state of mind, mood and maturity. I’ll post an update in a week or so about what how things are going.

Ambiguous and Intriguing

I most definitely have not come up with my blog’s purpose. At least not as a whole. The little gears that make it work I have all figured out — well not all. But I figured a common theme. I think I can call it a common theme. Interests and inspirations. I can’t define that but that’s what I’ve chosen.

I’ll write about anything that interests and/or inspires me. It’ll be like a Pinterest and Tumblr account rolled into one. I’m really gonna have to use the categories feature that WordPress offers to organize everything because I’m thinking it’s gonna get crazy.

Maybe I’ll jot down my 10-step plan to bettering my life. Live-blog a recipe I’m trying out. I could try posting a little video of a design I’m working on. Sketch out a comic of something funny I experienced. Write an article on why dinosaurs are literally the greatest thing to have ever existed.

I know when I first decided to start blogging I wanted my content to be about things you can go your day without knowing but it somehow improving your day if you did read it. To whatever extent that could be. Maybe I explained a new to tie your shoe. Or maybe I wrote a short history lesson that doesn’t effect anyone today but makes a great talking point.

I don’t just want to be a writer. I don’t consider myself just an artist or a graphic designer. I think there’s too many things I want to learn about and do that finding one word to describe it is difficult. The same goes for my topic for my blog.

The name Penny Press was meant to be ambiguous but intriguing. So these are the few words I’ve decided to use to describe my blog and it’s content— interests, inspirations, ambiguous, intriguing, novelty and arts.

That’s it. And if there’s someone out there actually reading, hope you enjoy.

P. S. I’ll be posting my content on the blogging site Medium, just to spread my stuff. I’ll see how that goes.

Lost in Blog Space

Life has too much to offer to get stuck in one place for too long. It’s more of a curse of mine rather than a lifestyle I try to live. I mean it in more than just a location. Comfort is boredom. And when I feel any kind of boredom, I move on to the next exciting thing. Completion isn’t a factor I check before leaving which has consequently left many projects of mine unfinished. How does someone fight against this?

I don’t know the answer to that yet. I don’t know if there’s a solution.

My blog hiatus was because I had lost direction rather than getting bored. I came up with the idea of treating the blog like project-tracker for myself. Then I decided to focus on my graphic design venture — something to showcase my work.

As a journalist-in-training I’m constantly wanting to write. But what would the content be about? I have many interests but I would need a common theme — a niche.

I still haven’t figured it out.