Summer Bucket List with A Realistic Expectation

I’ve spent the last ten minutes trying to best articulate the analogy of summer coming and going like sunsets, but then I realized it was keeping me from writing.

Procrastination is a sneaky son-of-bitch.

But anyway, without fail, every May I make plans for summer — go on adventures, tan, fall in love with the perfect reading position — and every September sneaks up on me like procrastination does and I haven’t done a single thing on my summer bucket-list.

Well this year I’m certain things won’t change and next fall I’ll be just as disappointed.

Being a part-time employee in the entertainment industry — I don’t mean working in films but instead working at a theme park — means my job schedules me all summer so that other people can enjoy their summer break at the park.

I know it may seem like I’m complaining but that’s because I am. However, that doesn’t mean I’m not grateful for the opportunities I’m offered to make money. (This sentence is for my current and future employers.)

This year, however, things will not change, so I am continuing the tradition of making a bucket list that will not see the light of day. It’s not to be pessimistic but instead not getting my hopes up so that I am not disappointed in myself.

Here goes:


Earlier this month I was driving down the highway when I saw a white streak (n) streak (v) across the night sky. My first thought was it was a shooting star, which was weird because up to that point in my life I had never seen a shooting star. My second thought was that it was a UFO — alien related — because I had recently seen a documentary on alien UFO’s and perhaps I finally witnessed one.

My final assumption was that it was a UFO — a flying object I couldn’t identify — since multiple possibilities arose.

I did some researching — googled and clicked on the first link — and learned that shooting stars are common to see. Which I thought was weird since, like I said, I’ve never seen one before that night.

I figured stargazing would be interesting to do. I work in Griffith Park so spending the night there seems like a possible place. Or at the beach. Or maybe even in the mountains. Who knows, I might even see a UFO — alien.

Tea Party

I know this one may sound weird, specially coming from a 22 year old guy, but if it’s any consolation I am VERY young at heart and gay. Actually reading that out loud sounds kind of worse.

The tea party I’m thinking about has a more mature theme to it. Instead of nonsense songs and a crazy tailor I want a more relaxed ambience. A couple friends at a Starbucks with some pastries from a grocery store sounds more accurate to what I’m thinking.

Maybe I could even make it a book club kind of gathering. It’ll be a hipster version of Marie Antoinette’s lifestyle.

Drama, Drama, Drama

What’s summer without a little sunburn? By summer I mean our youth. And by sunburn I mean the sweet knowledge of gossip manifesting itself from tension to a confrontational bitch-slap. Because life is like surfing — if the tide is ripping and rolling you, then you’re having fun.

Is surfing like that? Not that it really matters but it isn’t on my bucket list so I might never try it.

But maybe just some excitement. Life changing arguments. Friends at each other’s throats. I want my best friend to use my secrets against me in front of others outside of a bowling alley right before our legendary showdown. And then maybe we’ll make up and be even closer than before.

Or maybe my pet turtle will finally tell me I’m bad at singing.

To Conclude

Summer is on it’s way like one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse ready to slay another chance at fun. I’ll be waiting, wine glass in hand, for our brunch date. And when September sneaks up behind me and delivers its confrontational bitch-slap, I’ll tell it all about the gossip I overheard from other people’s summer.

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